You Can Heal Your Heart by Louise L. Hay

Author:Louise L. Hay
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2013-02-09T05:00:00+00:00

Grieving Through a Betrayal

We can’t really talk about relationships ending or divorces happening without a discussion on betrayal. While betrayal in and of itself can be hard to understand, even harder to comprehend may be the fact that being betrayed can sometimes offer us the greatest growth.

The idea that someone you gave your heart and soul to—the person who knew the real you and vice versa, or so you believed—would betray you is a horrific thought. The person who is most important to you, the one with whom you shared your most intimate self, has now shared him- or herself with someone else. It could have been for an hour or a night, or perhaps months or even years while you were together.

One of the first elements people often deal with in this kind of grief is how they found out. Did your loved one make a confession, or did it come out accidentally? Did you seek out the truth? Trying to get details about it often makes the wound worse because you’ll use the information to further hurt yourself. Your partner may have betrayed you once, but with the details, you can play their transgression over and over in your mind. A tough question to ask yourself is if you were always suspicious in nature, or whether the news was a total surprise. It’s interesting to go back and find the space you were in before you found out, which can sometimes help you uncover your part in what happened.

In terms of the actual healing of your grief, how you found out is somewhat inconsequential, but in terms of your thinking, it can be significant. Don’t expect to see your role in the betrayal when you are in the acute part of the grief. Sometimes, months or years later, people are able to look back and say, “I was very suspicious. I think I was hoping it would end and knew on some level that our relationship wasn’t meant to be.” However, many struggle with this concept because when the words your role are used, they think the message is that the one who was betrayed was to blame. What we’re really saying is that while no one wants to go through a betrayal, the experience is something that your soul can use for its evolution and healing.

There is another element to discuss here, not for the purpose of wallowing in grief, but to get it out and release it for healing. One of the first things that the betrayed person asks is, “Do you still love me?” In some ways, this is an inquiry, but in other ways, it’s a deep evaluation of self. Am I worth loving? Do I mean something to you? Did you ever really care? It’s hard to stomach the fact that your loved one’s actions don’t necessarily determine whether he or she loves you or not.

It’s common spiritual wisdom that if there was a moment of real love in the relationship, then that was the ultimate truth—there was love.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.